Redemption

Feeling sick down to the pit of my being

Gut wrenching agony at these thoughts that aren't freeing

Knowing where I desire to be and seeing where You have me

Stuck between my world and Your realities

Like... like... a mad scientist that sees the end of his projections

But weakened by each experimental rejection

I stand yelling at the top of my lungs

Thoughts louder than liberty when the Liberty Bell rung

"Free me free me free me!! The despair is too much to bear!"

Yet.. I... I!! Chose to share this cup

Yup... Then again on the basis of my decision you Promised! You Promised

To be my confidence and my strength

Lord I can't go back! I wont go back again.

Lord please save me from every door and pathway of sin

I find myself running with eyes searching for You

One glance to the right and I fall!! Falling falling... fell

Quickly Satan floods my eyes with pictures of hell

But this hell is not the fiery furnace of burning at the end

This hell is the thought of another day separated from you within

Tears streaming heart pounding unable to face

My only ace in this race... I've shamed You

Now I look away and fall to the ground... I can feel the stones aimed at my soul

Thinking.. I'm sorry. So sorry. I've disgraced the only unconditional love I could ever know.

Tears streaming. Heart pounding.. awaiting His judgement to fall

I look up.. and the only man I've known to in his righteousness stand tall

Knelt down beside me with tears in His eyes and said

"Darling, my Darling. I've fought this fight. It is for your freedom that I died."

I could feel him writing on the sands of my very being

Words of life, affirmation, love, words so freeing

Confused I look at Him and ask why he loves me so

He smiled and whispered, "There's a love inside of you that I desire to know."

I could feel the shame and fear fall like scales from my eyes

And pledged from this day forth I would search inside

To bring out this very love for which my Beloved had died.

Even when I stumble, I rise with a smile

For thoughts of His love purify my shame

All I have to do now is whisper His name... Yahweh